Holy Crazy Baby Batman

Woke up at 8 this moring totally pooped and my throat in ain. Not sore but pain. It was the same yesterday. (its feeling much better now thanks lol). I was tired!!! Donavan didnt go to bed last night until we did and he still tried to play. Not acceptable behaviour... I ahve 2 days/ 2 nights before teh birth control comes off and its been awhile! (but thats a rant for another day...). Hit the mall to pick up my step father's b-day gift, the splash pants for samara that I had forgotten 2 days in a row and finish easter. Plus groceries. Put donavan's new doggy backpack leash on him and left the stroller. Surprisingly it went well. He held my hand walking but when he wanted to drop my hand and explore while I was talking etc then he was able to safely without leaving my sight. It was awesome.

He was crabby mind you and threw a few random fits but I ignored it... Mind you I got a few dirty looks in zellers standing in line when I A) held the leash tightly so he couldnt reach the display then B) he ran at teh displays and landed on his butt yelling bloody murder. Mwhaha I am a terrible momma.

From the mall we walked over to superstore. He didnt want in the cart but I grabbed his legs so he couldnt climb out. See... meanie. Grocery shopping went quite well.

I am obviously home now and I put the groceries away. I wanted a turkey dinner so I picked up a bird and the trimmings. In a few days itll be turkeytime. gobble gobble!!

The house is super messy with alot of laundry in transition. That is my plan for today. Plus I am planning on making a few batches of bunny chocolate chunk cookies. MMMMMMMMMM.

The Tale Of The Terrible Parent

I'll let you in on a couple secrets. One: I am very pessimistic, analitical (sp), and negative in life. Two: I think I am a terrible parent and find it annoying when people think I am a great mother.

I believe in a life of learning and bettering yourself (how is that for overly dramatic). I spend a lot of time at Maggies Place taking parenting programs. I try to seek out "court ordered" programs. These are programs that near "unfit" parents are stipulated to take in order to keep their kids/ custody arrangements.

I just cant get over the idea that I am ruining my children's lives with every movement I make and it drives me nutty. I am not overly affectionate but find it easier to be so with babies than older children. And therefore I am obviously ruining Samara's chance at feeling accepted in lfie by bot wanting to sit with her up my butt constantly. Therefore she will become the type of adult who will seek acceptance by following others into stupidity. She will be a doormat.

I yell ALOT therefore Donavan will grow up with yelling and frustration being the only thing he knows. He will be a harsh and abrasive husband and parent.

I try to get Samara to play in her room by herself so she will be able to entertain herself as she gets older and not be one of those people who needs to be entertained to be happy. And yet becuase she wont go in her room and play I spend alot of our time stubbornly trying to get her to. Perfect world, she goes and plays in her room with barbies etc for a half hour, hour or so then comes out adn colours or whatever. Reality I tell her to play in her room and she comes out and I tell her to play in her room and she comes out, i tell her to GO PLAY IN HER FREAKING ROOM, she comes out. on and on and on ALL DAY. and so I feel like she is neglected becuase I am so frustrated by her not playing in her room that by the end of it I want nothing to do with her. She will grow up and remember how distant her mother was and then again will suffer from a need to be accepted.

I am reading a book by Barbara Coloroso (sp). and she teaches the golden rule, ould you like to be treated as you treat your child? For younger kids, would you like to be yelled at or ridiculed at 70 for an "accident" or somethign you "forgot"? And about the charts and so on. At 70 how would you quality of life be if you were rewarded with stars towards BINGO that could be taken away for bad behaviours?

So I am going to try to emulate that. When I am freaking out adn about to launch into a tyrade I need to think would I like it?

I grew up with a lecturing mother. And her lectures were long and the punishment held to the very end. Her lectures sent me into anxiety attacks where my stomach would tightened so bad I would have pulled muscles for days. My knees would be weak and I would be tempted to puke at the thought. I dont want that for Samara. (I say her more so because of Donavan's age.)

I know that I need downtime more than the while I get when the kids go to bed and that makes me a lenient parent but I often wonder if that makes me a neglectful parent too? I hear teh mothers talking about no time to read or watch a movie or start a crafting project and its not like that for me. If I want to read I do. I watch movies and I knit crochet or do whatever else I am doing that day. The kids survive without me underfoot...

I dont know.

A Day Like Many Others...

Except today I had subway. MMMM SUBWAY.

Maggies place this morning for you make the difference. As I take this program for the 3rd time I realize that I rock this parenting biz. I dont need to learn any of it (again) becuase I already know. The program teaches about being more in touch with your kids, sharing new experiences and making the most of your time together. One of teh lessons if to make the important words stand out. And I so do. Such as, "Donavan dont hit your SISTER with that plastic bat, hit your DAD." See, important words.

After Maggies Place I came home (So exciting... I know). When it was time to pick samara up one of my better off friends was practicing the biblical lesson, more blessed to give than recieve. She brought over 3 bags of pantry items and some tissue. It was such an awesome thing for her to do. She also gave someone SOMETHING (shes got a strong newfie accent sometimes and occasionally I have been known to nod like I understand, case in point, today) and she gave another friend some books that her children would like. She is such a good friend, would do anything for a person :) More people should be like her!

Once Samara was home I tidied a bit. Samara was starving and having a pickyfit too so though she was huingry she would NOT accept the choice of sandwich I gave her. Aparently she didnt eat her chips for her lunch snack. Why I asked? The teacher would let her becuase she wouldtn eat her sandwich. Well hurray teacher. About time someone stood up to her picky, spoiled eating habits (besides me). Maybe next time she will eat the sandwich I lovingly in a hurry pack for her in teh morning 3 minutes after she SHOULD have left for school. Anywho... In short I wasnt sure what teh appropriate response was.... be angry that the teacher wouldnt let her eat teh snack I sent for her to enjoy at lunchtime or use it as a lesson to MZ PRISSYEATER that unlike what nanny teaches at her house the world doesnt revolve around what she wants to eat when. EAT YOUR MF SANDWICH OR ELSE is mroe often my response. (and if you take offense to me yelling MF at my 5 year old A) shut YO MF MOUTH... and B) obviously it is a dramatic reinactment.... therefore MF is used to suggest I was frustrated... though I may have said, if you dont want a freaking sandwich when ALL WE HAVE IN THE HOUSE IS BREAD AND YOUR CHOICE OF PEANUTBUTTER OR NONAME CHEESEWHIZ THEN YOU CAN STARVE! <<>>

In short I agree with what the teacher did and I informed Samara of that and WHY I agree'd with the teacher and am not going up in arms about it. (though despite her picky ways, my child is luckily a 'go with the flow' type and accpeted her no sandwich then no chips fate with nary but a IM STARVING complaint.)




Can I stop here and apologise for my shitty typing skills??? I dont understand it, I spend as much time on the puter as before (maybe even more now that Im actually DOING the project I should ahve started ummmmmm in the beginning of the summer.... ). I just suck... I am speedy Gonzola.



Once Kev got home, he was all like, GET YO MF BOOTS ON BIATCH! and I was all, YES YOUR SUPREME SEX GODINESS.

Once Kev got home we got ready adn all walked to the mall area. We went to subway (yum) Samara turned in ehr free kids meal slip and got a balony sandwich and juice box. (yes, i know), Kev got steak and cheese 6 inch and I got a FOOT LONG MONSTER of a veggie delight (with toooo much MAYOOOO) i only ate half and saved the rest for ohhh about an hour ago. YUM.

Then liquidation world.

Then Walmart.

Kev bought Fall Out 3 and got a littlest pet shop for Samara. She asked very nicely if wed buy her something. She got one with a little pile off poop, newspaper, and a scooped. TOO FRICKING CUTE. and wierd.

Then we went grocery shopping YAY and home again where we are now.



Remind me to tell you about my project, Lazy blogger is kicking in.


****** Yes I did say pile OFF poop and SCOOPED. It wasnt your imagination.

Sunday

Had turkey at sherry's yesterday. It was really good. Samara and Donavan are going to my parents today for dinner (aparently). I was called a parenting nazi yesterday by my stepfather. He asked what time Samara went to bed on the weekends adn I told him 7. So now I am "like the germans" in his words. (Pretty sure that an early bedtime doesnt QUITE equate with cultural genocide but hes the ex military type so guess hes right. (Sarcasm drippings and all)). She isnt even 5 yet (tomorrow lol). She has no interest in staying up on the weekdays let alone weeknights. If i let her stay up she would be tired and crabby on the weekdays getting up before 8. How would it be any different on the weekends? Not like my nearly 5 year old would sleep in or anything... Shes not 14. Anywho.

Noone believes they will take donavan so we shall see.

I really want to clean up. Genuinely... I need a hyposis book on not being a slob anymore!

I got a bunch of corny new music last night MWAHAH so i might try to clean to it.